How to Talk to Players: The Art of Narration

There comes a certain time in every GM’s life when he starts to notice changes. Suddenly, he starts to take an interest in those strange creatures sitting across the table from him. Or her. Whatever. They are players. And their ways can be strange, mysterious, and vexing. And they can make a GM feel all sorts of strange emotions: nervousness, fear, frustration, and violent rage. But, no matter how strange and confusing, no GM can live without players. So, eventually, every GM has to figure out how to talk to players.

Usually about five seconds into the first game session.

Ask Angry: Traps Suck

Traps suck, but you have to do them. So, here’s some ideas about the least worst ways to deal with traps.

Ask Angry: Can We Be Evil?

Should GMs let players play evil PCs? Do GMs have any say in what the players play at all? The Angry GM answers. Spoiler alert: there’s a no and a yes.

Ask Angry: Class! Hunh! What Is It Good For?

Kevin M. asks hypothetical questions about a hypothetical RPG. And asks, hypothetically, how that hypothetical RPG might answer the hypothetical question of classes. I’m NOT writing a game, people. When the f$&% would I have the time for that!?

Ask Angry: Ultimate Lie Detectors

This week, in Ask Angry, I tell you how to deal with players that have broken your game with psychic super powers so they can never be lied to or betrayed.

Scenes: The LEGO bricks of Adventure!

If you want to be a Master Adventure Builder, you’ve got to know your way around your LEGO bricks. By which I mean scenes. That’s the gimmick of this article. I explain scenes as an adventure building concept and then use a bunch of references to LEGO sets and pieces using obtuse LEGO jargon to show off how I’m better than you at BOTH game mastering AND LEGO. I also talk about Not-Straulia and raptor-puppies. It’s weird being in my head.

Ask Angry: Slow Decisions and Writing Poetry

Welcome to the first ever installment of my new weekly advice column: Ask Angry! That’s right. Every week I’ll take a question or two someone has sent me and I’ll answer it. With advice. Hence: advice column. Obviously. If you want to ask a question, e-mail me at TheAngryGameMaster@gmail.com and put Ask Angry in the subject line. If you don’t put Ask Angry in the subject like, I’ll punch you. And ignore your question. And punch you.

11 Ways to Take the Suck Out of Inspiration in D&D

Just because I hate the very idea of something doesn’t mean I can’t analyze it, deconstruct it, and put it together better. Here’s a deconstruction and reconstruction of Inspiration in D&D along with 11 options for using it better.

Every Adventure’s a Dungeon

Structure is the glue that holds your adventure together and every adventure needs a good structure. Fortunately, it turns out there’s only ONE actual structure. I’ll prove it through the magic of Commodore 64 adventure games and tentacles!

Son of the D&D Boss Fight Part 2: Elemental Boogaloo

You want more Paragon Creatures? You got it! How about animated armor that changes weapons and tactics when you beat it up? How about elementals crammed into animated armor that explode forth and wreck your s$&% if you hit them too much. OH YEAH!!! F&$% you, Erwin Schrödinger

What the Actual F$&% is an Adventure Anyway?

You can’t learn how to build adventures until you know what an adventure actually is. So sit down, Daniel-san, and listen to your Angry-senpai as I explain how encounter is like cracking an orc’s skull and watching it bleed. While holding the Triforce. I s$&% you not.

Return of the Son of the D&D Boss Fight: Now in 5E

Happy 5th Anniversary to me! Five years ago, I started this site by coming up with super cool boss monster rules for Dungeons & Dragons, 4th Edition. Now it’s time to do it all again. I’m laying the ground work for D&D 5E Paragon Monsters in this article, which I will continue to build on in future articles.

Fine! I Wrote About Speed Factor Initiative in D&D 5E!

After revealing that I was using Speed Factor Initiative in D&D 5E, I got a number of constructive questions and criticisms. So, I wrote this article to explain what the f$&% was wrong with me and why I didn’t deserve to die of cancer in a fire, thank you.

Respect the Metagame

I throw down with NPC Aaron of the NPC Cast about selfish players and the true meaning of the word “metagame.”

Gaming for Fun (Part 2): Getting Engaged

So, there are eight kinds of fun, right? RIGHT?! How do you bring the right ones to your table and keep everyone happy? You read this f$&%ing article and do what it says.

Gaming for Fun (Part 1): Eight Kinds of Fun

Every player and game master sits down to the table for a different reason. Or a different combination of reasons. And understanding the reason why people play is the key to get them to keep coming back. If you want people coming back (for some sick reason), you need this article.

Thy Game-Mastering Commandments

Happy motherf$&%ing new year. Read this article and write your own GMing credo. Get a grip on why you run games, what you want out of them, and write down all of the unwritten rules you follow so you can go ahead and just start calling them ‘rules.’

Help! My Players are Talking to Things!

What do you do when your players actually decide to talk to things? How do you handle social interaction? The same way you handle every other f$&%ing action. But if you need more detail than that, read this article.