A chronological listing of every post The Angry GM has ever… posted.
There are three vital lessons that every GM has to figure out. And figure out sooner rather than later. How to adjudicate actions. How to narrate the game. And the harsh reality that there’s no such thing as making the best decision “for the game.” And also the harsh reality that being a GM pretty much sucks.
If you’re going to build your own monsters – or even if you you’re just going to run a game – you have to understand what challenge is and how it infuses every game experience. And you also have to understand how it got built into monster design systems. I THOUGHT I’d already covered this, but apparently, we need to really unpack it. So settle in.
Last week, i dissected the hell out of the D&D Monster Manual and Dungeon Masters Guide to tell you everything you’d ever need to know about how monsters work. This week, we’re going to assemble our own creations! And we’re going to populate the temple of a mad monkey god too. Because why not?
This is a supplement to the Monster Building 202 course. Go read that first. Then come back here. It’s a chat between The Angry GM and Twitter frienenmy @Maialideth about how to create a hobgoblin warcaster.
It’s like they always say, you have to cut up a lot of bunnies before you learn enough to make a bunny of your own. So welcome to the D&D Monster Dissection Lab. We’re going to cut up a lot of creatures and see how they work. And that’s going to help us make our own creatures.
Custom monster building is one of the most useful and versatile tools in the D&D and Pathfinder GM’s toolbox. And notice that I didn’t say “reskinning” or “reflavoring.” Real custom monster building takes effort. And it’s totally worth it. But if you can’t make the effort, don’t f$%&ing bother.
Given the choice, I’ll take a binary dice mechanic over a narrative dice mechanic any day. Why? Because I actually give a s$&% about the story. That’s right. You heard me.
Crit systems – you know, critical hits and fumbles – are ubiquitous. You can’t get an action RPG without them anymore. But they are actually kind of stupid and out of place in most games. Why do they persist? Do you have to have one? And what’s the best way to handle it?
Can we abbreviate a D&D 5E Stat Block enough to include monster stats inline with the adventure? Without creating a layout nightmare or wasting huge amounts of page space? The answer is yes. Can we abbreviate the discussion about user interface design and how it relates to RPGs and why it’s important? Hell no!
I don’t shy away from had questions. So, if you ask me “how do I get more creative,” I’ll give you an answer. It’ll be a bulls$&% answer filled with stupid analogies about weight lifting and nutrition, but it’ll be an answer. A CREATIVE answer.
If you ask most GMs what the most important part of an adventure is, they’re going to tell you that it’s the backstory. And they’re wrong. Backstory is one of the least important parts of the adventure. But that doesn’t mean you can ignore it completely. It’s just a matter of doing it right.
You know what’s cool? Cutting a bloody swath through waves of minor foes. Unfortunately, D&D 5E doesn’t handle that very well. Trust me. It claims you can fight 20 or 30 beasts at a time and that minor beasts stay relevant against high level foes, but don’t bet on that. Fortunately, I’m here to provide a way that actually works.
A published module seems like it should take no prep at all, right? Well, if you’ve ever run one, you know that’s a lie. Published modules can take a LOT of prep work. Even worse, it’s not always clear HOW to prepare. Unless you’re a genius like me. Or you read this article.
When you’re writing an adventure, you need interconnected scenes to get the heroes from the beginning to the end. Now, maybe you think you know what scenes are because you’ve already read previous articles in which a certain Angry genius explained them. But that doesn’t mean you know how to build them. So let’s talk about scene construction.
How do you build atmosphere at the table? I’ll tell you how you don’t. You don’t use a motherf$&%ing soundtrack. Sorry Battlebards. Seriously. Building a consistent, engrossing ambiance is not as hard as it seems. It’s just another one of those things no one ever thinks about.
You know what’s only a problem if you’re a completely obsessive nitpicker who’s overly critical of the way RPGs handle every tiny detail? Race in D&D and Pathfinder. That’s what. Fortunately, Pathfinder gave us a great tool to correct this utter and complete non-issue as long as we’re willing to spend way more time than it’s worth. Lets spend five thousand words discussing it.
It may shock you to learn that I don’t hate 13th Age. And that’ve I’ve played and run 13th Age. And that I can give you good advice about, hypothetically, how to use Icon Relationship Rolls in your game better. Because, as I’ve previously mentioned, I’m awesome.
I don’t HATE sandboxes. It’s just that people suck at doing sandboxes. And people don’t even know what sandboxes are. And sandbox is a stupid word. ARGH!
Every hero needs a motivation. Though you wouldn’t know it by watching movies like Guardians of the Galaxy. Or listening to the lying liars who sit at your table pretending to be role-players. Doesn’t matter. When YOU write an adventure, you damned well better figure out how to motivate the characters. AND the players.
There’s this complex, math-laden analysis out there ‘proving’ resting in 5E forces a particular adventure structure. And it doesn’t matter a bit. The Angry GM explains.
Remember the old days? When heroes would literally tear monsters limb from limb? Wouldn’t it be awesome if one of the D’s in D&D stood for dismemberment? Here’s how to build monsters in D&D that can literally be torn apart!
The hills are alive with the sound of Anger! Angry advice about how to start building adventures by figuring out the ending that is!
How do you run a good mystery game rather than a good game about a mystery? And what’s the difference? Read to find out and then post your s$%&y, wrong, alternate advice in the comments.
Why are thieves so antisocial? And what do you do when they steal from the party?
Psionics sucks. Let me explain.
Remember how, months ago, I promised there would be more boss fighty goodness? Well, here’s some more boss fighty goodness. Let’s talk about swarms and oozes and that one wizard who can make copies of himself that are indistinguishable from him.
Never point your GMing gun at something if you’re not willing to pull the trigger. In this edition of Ask Angry, I help a desperate GM plan for failure.
Charisma sucks! Intelligence sucks! What to do about it? NOTHING! … Unless you’re willing to write your own RPG from the ground up.
How do you make the wilderness actually matter? You have to f$&%ing work at it. Just like everything in RPGs. Shocking, I know.
In this installment of Ask Angry, I field questions about how alignment works in the Angryverse (when I’m not too lazy to give a f$&%) and how to figure out how to use my Paragon Monster rules with the ludicrously over complicated encounter balancing system in D&D 5E.