Narrative Structure for REAL Morons

This article EVENTUALLY builds a basic narrative structure for gamers. But first, it has to spend a time on some remedial lessons. Apparently, some things didn’t sink in the first time I discussed narrative structure.

Narrative Structure for Morons

The only thing worse than a GM with no sense of narrative structure is one who just learned some new form of narrative structure in school. This is an open letter to GMs obsessed with the three-act structure, the five-room dungeon, and Joseph Motherf$%&ing Campbell to PLEASE STOP E-MAILING ME.

Parfaits Ain’t Easy: Peeling the Onion Campaigns

Mysteries are like pancakes: solving one is satisfying, but solving a whole stack is even better. But when it comes to stacking mysteries into a delicious mystery campaign, it’s easy to f$&% it up.

Game Masterhood

Does becoming a GM change you? That simple question consumed my weekend, filled it with Twitter drama, and saved me from listening to someone tell me about their game in a coffee shop. Unfortunately, it also kept me from thinking of anything better to write an article about. Sorry.

Ask Angry: A Twofer For David

David asks for examples of bad habits that need to be broken and then asks about two different criteria for deciding what gets die rolls.

Don’t Bring Me Solutions, Bring Me Problems

There’s a difference between a puzzle and a problem. And most GMs don’t understand the difference. That’s a shame because most GMs who think they want puzzles in their game actually want problems. And problems work better.

Ask Angry: The Xenosis

How do you create a cat-and-mouse horror experience in a table-top RPG with a too-powerful antagonist? You Ask Angry. That’s how.

All Aboard the Plot Train

If you can believe it, someone actually had the nerve to demand a birthday article. About railroading. What is railroading and when should a GM worry about it? Well, it isn’t anything and a GM shouldn’t. And here’s 4,000 words spelling that out. Happy birthday, 25-Year-Old GM

Puzzles Suck

I’m sick of dealing with questions about how to implement puzzles properly from GMs who insist that puzzles just suck. So, it’s time for me to act. By writing 5,000 words about it and then walking away.

Fanservice BS: Dwarven Bear Cavalry… Yes, Really

In this month’s installment of Fanservice BS, I’m going to address the stupid idea of dwarven bear cavalry. And hopefully my Patrons will learn an important lesson about the topics they propose for this column.

These Are the Voyages: Adventure of the Week Campaigns

Sometimes, you just get tired of taking notes and you just want to show up and have a fun adventure. And then another. And another. Enter: The Adventure of the Week Campaign. Which has nothing to do with meatballs. Except when it does.

Fix Yourself, Break the Game: Character Arcs in D&D

Character arcs are really awesome things that movies just don’t believe in anymore. But I sure as hell do. And you should to. And you should want them in your D&D game. Let me tell you how to get them.

Drowning in Armor Systems (Part 2)

Remember how I made an awful armor table three weeks ago? Well, let’s turn that AWFUL into AWESOME with two simple words: elegance and extensibility.

We Gotta Save; We Gotta Save the World: Epic Quest Campaigns

No type of campaign is more iconic than the Epic Quest Campaign, especially the Save the World Campaign. Well, unless you count Dungeon Delve Campaigns. And Adventure of the Week Campaigns. But shut up. We’re talking about Epic Quest and Save the World Campaigns.

Drowning in Armor Systems (Part 1)

Some GMs just don’t know when to stop. And, lucky for you, I’m one of them. What started as a simple effort to reskin some armor for my upcoming campaign turned into a massive overhaul of the D&D equipment system. And here’s where that overhaul began.

A Trifecta of Unbalance

Once upon a time, I claimed to be the only one to know what game balance actually was and to be able to define at least three types of game balance in RPGs. Now that everyone has forgotten that I said that, it’s time to explain what I meant.

From Zero to Pitch in 24 Hours

It’s time to look ahead to new beginnings. Specifically, the beginning of my new campaign. And since I went through all of the trouble of running a Session Zero and writing a Pitch, I thought I’d let you see exactly how I developed MY upcoming campaign. Merry F$%&ing Christmas or whatever.

How NOT to Teach Newbies D&D

If you give a newbie a game, he’s going to want to a campaign. If you give the newbie a campaign, you’ll be stuck with a terrible player for life. Don’t make that mistake.

Fanservice BS: A Thing About Mimics or Whatever

The problem with letting your fans pick the topic is that they don’t have to actually worry about whether the topic they pick actually has a useful article in it. What do they care? They don’t have to write this crap. So here’s a post about mimics or whatever.