Hey all…
Reminders First
I got called out for not posting reminders about upcoming events yesterday. So, here…
Slapchat: The State of The Slap and Combat Structure Overview
Monday, April 27 at 8:30 PM ET
Frienemy-tier Supporters are invited to the monthly Slapchat in the #club-slapdash Discord channel. It will be recorded and distributed via Club Slapdash in a few days for those with access.
Angry’s Casual, Crappy, Critical Video Game
Every Sunday at 8:00 PM ET
Anyone who wants to watch me suck at video games and ramble about game design is invited to watch https://www.youtube.com/@theangrygm. It’s just my regular Sunday night thing and just for fun. I’m doing Hollow Knight. Just get a tetanus shot before you watch because man, am I really rusty.
Angry’s Deep Dive: Adventure’s with Mysteries In Them (Part 2)
Monday, May 4 at 8:30 PM ET
Supporters with Discord access (Angrican-tier) can come watch the second half of my deep dive into designing better mystery adventures. If you’re an Angrican-tier supporter and missed the first part, you can find details in this post: The Angry GM’s Deep Dives: Mystery Adventures (Part 1).
Note, by the way, that we’re reaching a point where every Monday night in the Discord, something will be going on, whether it’s a Mostly Monthly Live Chat, a Deep Dive, or a Slapdash event. That’s my goal.
Content Forthcoming
The end of the month is coming and I’m one Feature due to last week’s delays and technical crap. It’s coming, along with the final April Feature. I’m not going to lose the ground I gained. I had to shuffle the schedule a little to make it work, but the damage is contained. Stay tuned. I promise I’m moving forward, not backward. Just not as fast as I want.
Which brings me to…
A Reminder Not to Suffer in Silence
Last week was pretty rough. Technical issues ate up a huge chunk of my time. I was able to limit the outages on my site so few people noticed them, but it still ate up a lot of time getting everything stable and that led to some serious slippage. Honestly, I feel like even when I’m doing my best, something keeps happening to knock me back down. I don’t want to piss and moan about it, but it’s leaving me feeling pretty hopeless. I think a lot about just quitting. About just giving up this work. I’ve been thinking worse things too.
See, I had a really dark weekend. Like really, intensely, deeply, nastily dark. Honestly, it’s been growing for the last week. I had some terrible thoughts. I had to reach out for help. That happens in life. Things get dark, we lose hope, we think terrible thoughts. You do not have to sit alone in the dark with your terrible thoughts.
If you’re part of my community, either as a regular reader, lurker, occasional commentor, generous supporter, Discord jabberer, or Slapdash cheerleader, you’ve had an impact on my life. Your life has mattered to me and I do not want anything to happen to you. I’ve been in touch with a few folks going through really dark times and I’ve told them that directly too.
Never be afraid to admit you’re in pain. Never be afraid to burden someone else with it because it isn’t a burden. No one wants you to suffer. I sure don’t. And if you don’t know who else to call, call your city or state crisis line. Every state and many cities have one. Or call the national helpline in the US at 988. I’ve called 988 myself. I needed to. I’m not ashamed. I did what I had to do because there’s no coming back from the alternative.
Please take care of yourself. You are loved. You are needed. You have something to give. You are not alone.
Stay safe, keep fighting. There are a whole bunch of Internet people who actually really do care about you.
I was in that place a few times in the last few decades, and people saved my life without knowing it more than once — some guy on the internet, a random cashier, a cop, and then family members/friends too.
I only hope that I can reciprocate the favor to someone else someday, whether or not I know that I made an impact.
God bless you!
You are one of the greatest voices on the net, Mr. Rehm.
I appreciate your content immensely as well as your honesty and openness concerning mental health issues.
With a bow from Germany!
Dear Angry GM:
– I’ve been reading your site for more than 10 years now.
– I opened a Patreon account only for backing you (I had to leave in a difficult moment).
– Your book is the first Kickstarter from out of my country that I asked for a physical reward (I’ve only made this three times, and the other two have been this year, so you can calculate for how much time you had this record).
– One time I got in touch with you and warned you about Gnome Stew had copied one of your articles.
– Despite my >25 years as DM, I use every single time your template for room description.
And all of this living in Europe, not speaking English as my first language (that’s why I waited for the transcriptions of Word of the Week), and being an OSR (later BrOSR) sympathizer.
So we could say you had a little impact on my life too XD.
For everybody: I’ve been on that shoes too. Thanks God, I’ve been better for many years now, but sometimes still feel some of these things Angry says. Angry makes very well asking for help and telling other people to seek for aid when they need it. I’m a doctor myself (quite worried for Scott’s bodily health, indeed), and I can tell so many people feel like this. You’re not alone, you’re not a weirdo, you’re not a case without solution. Unfortunately, I’ve known so many patients that thought nobody cared about them… and they’re always wrong. Ask for professional help if you need it: there are people who will listen to you, there are special resources, there are lot of things for helping you.
You’ve absolutely had an impact on my life, too. I tell everyone about how awesome your work is (though they’re all my players so I don’t let them read or they’d know all my tricks are just yours)
You really are an inspiration, your transparency on these matters is helping people in ways you may never know of. But you are doing good work, and that is on top of your peerless elf-game-related work.
You are always in my prayers. God bless you.