All Aboard the Plot Train

If you can believe it, someone actually had the nerve to demand a birthday article. About railroading. What is railroading and when should a GM worry about it? Well, it isn’t anything and a GM shouldn’t. And here’s 4,000 words spelling that out. Happy birthday, 25-Year-Old GM

Fanservice BS: Dwarven Bear Cavalry… Yes, Really

In this month’s installment of Fanservice BS, I’m going to address the stupid idea of dwarven bear cavalry. And hopefully my Patrons will learn an important lesson about the topics they propose for this column.

A Trifecta of Unbalance

Once upon a time, I claimed to be the only one to know what game balance actually was and to be able to define at least three types of game balance in RPGs. Now that everyone has forgotten that I said that, it’s time to explain what I meant.

Fanservice BS: A Thing About Mimics or Whatever

The problem with letting your fans pick the topic is that they don’t have to actually worry about whether the topic they pick actually has a useful article in it. What do they care? They don’t have to write this crap. So here’s a post about mimics or whatever.

30 Days of RPG a Day in One Day

After four years of missing it, I decided to participate in David Chapman’s #RPGaDay blog carnival discussion thing. And, because I’m me, I decided to do the entire thing in one day at the last minute. Enjoy.

Conflicted and Misaligned: Storytelling, Conflicts, and Morality

Conflict lies at the heart of every story. And when we think of conflict, we think of the struggle between good and evil. Especially in D&D. But what if I told you that good and evil aren’t in conflict at all? And that D&D alignment is complete and utter gibberish that never made any sense?

Tick Tock: The Weird Clock Speed of D&D

It’s time for a random pile of bulls$&% from the brain of the Angry GM. Today’s steamer is about clock speeds, decision points, why D&D runs at two different speeds, and how the designers of RPGs really need to figure that s$&% out better. Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with Time Pools.

The Infamous Angry Riddle Solution

Here it is: the awaited solution to the Infamous Angry Riddle Solution. Enjoy. Hahaha. Just kidding. You’re going to hate it. And I’m not sorry.

The Infamous Angry Riddle Contest

Once upon a time, six years ago, I ran a contest on my website. And people were furious. As a fun bit of bonus content, here’s the story and the logic puzzle that infuriated my budding fanbase.

Winning RPGs: You People Made Me Do This

I wanted to write about NPCs, but so many people argued about whether RPGs were winnable and whether they needed goals that I had to explain to everyone why they are and they do. And then I had to explain why Fiasco isn’t an RPG.

The Death of the Gygax: Why Rules Exist

Just because someone wrote something, that doesn’t mean they know anything about it. Gygax is no more trustworthy about RPGs than anyone else. Especially when it comes to the importance of rules.

GMing For Love or Money

Should a GM get paid to run games? That’s the latest ridiculous internet argument I got to witness. But, believe it or not, it’s actually worth weighing in on. At least, I think it is. So here I go.

Nothing Here But Worthless Gold!

Like Quark closely examining Morn’s hidden stash in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode Who Mourns for Morn, if you look too closely at the treasure system in D&D, you’ll find someone has extracted all of the value and there’s nothing left but worthless gold.

Probability for Dumm… for Gamers

This article is about basic probability, dice, and statistics in D&D and other RPGs. I love this s$&% and I think it’s important and useful to understand. So, let’s use math to answer some questions about dice rolling in RPGs. Or not. Next week, I’m back to talking about NPCs, so you can skip this one if you want.

Dear GMs: Metagaming is YOUR Fault

Well, it happened again. Another week on Twitter, another fight about why metagaming is bulls&$%. But what is metagaming? And why is it a waste of time to worry about it? Well, I’ll f$&%ing tell you.

Save vs. Lawsuit: How To Publish D&D Content

Have you been using my tips to create your own original content? Do you want to publish your content? Do you want to maybe even SELL your content? Great. Just don’t get your a$& sued. Fortunately, the OGL and the DMs Guild can help. If you know how to use them.

Tone Policing Sir Bearington

We tell a lot of funny stories about gaming. But just because a story is funny doesn’t mean its good advice. In fact, most funny stories are funny because they aren’t good gaming. It all comes down to tone.

I’m Making This Up As I Go

Improvisation is the single most important thing that can utterly ruin your game if you f$&% it up. It’s also widely considered to be unteachable by f$&%ing sissies who are afraid of working at things. Not me. Let’s embark on a series to teach you how to improvise, why it’s important, and why you shouldn’t.

How Can This Be True?

Every creator eventually has some dips$&% ask them “where do you get your ideas?” It’s a stupid question. And it’s the reason more people aren’t creators. Do you want to know where I get my ideas? I make them! From my brain!

No! You Can’t Copy My Notes

“Angry,” they say, “why don’t you show us your game notes! Angry, teach us how to prep. Show us the way.” I CAN’T DO THAT! STOP ASKING!

Alignment in D&D 5E: S$&% or Get Off the Pot

Alignment doesn’t exist in 5E. It’s vestigial. Practically non-existent. And yet, it’s still there. Why? Because the designers couldn’t take a firm stand on anything. But YOU can. If you hate alignment, get rid of it. It’s easy. But if you LOVE alignment, you can actually make it useful.