Jumping the Screen: How to Run Your First RPG Session

Do you have a little voice in the back of your head saying “okay, playing these RPG things is fun and all, but I really want the screen. I want to run games. How do I run games?” Well, this article is for you. This is how to give yourself the best chance to succeed at running your first session of D&D or Pathfinder or Star Wars or whatever.

Coloring Inside the Lines: Linear Adventure Design

Linear adventures are woefully misunderstood. They seem simple to design, but they aren’t. And they seem like they should suck, but they don’t. Stop calling them simple. Stop calling them railroady. Maybe YOU’RE simple and railroady!

The Shape of Adventure

Did you know adventures come in different shapes? It’s true! And, if you’re going to make your own adventures, you’ve got to get them in shape!

The Third Lesson: Costly Opportunities and Harsh Realities

There are three vital lessons that every GM has to figure out. And figure out sooner rather than later. How to adjudicate actions. How to narrate the game. And the harsh reality that there’s no such thing as making the best decision “for the game.” And also the harsh reality that being a GM pretty much sucks.

Attack of the Genericons: Challenge, Difficulty, and Monster Building

If you’re going to build your own monsters – or even if you you’re just going to run a game – you have to understand what challenge is and how it infuses every game experience. And you also have to understand how it got built into monster design systems. I THOUGHT I’d already covered this, but apparently, we need to really unpack it. So settle in.

Monster Building 202: The D&D Monster Monster Building Lab Practicum

Last week, i dissected the hell out of the D&D Monster Manual and Dungeon Masters Guide to tell you everything you’d ever need to know about how monsters work. This week, we’re going to assemble our own creations! And we’re going to populate the temple of a mad monkey god too. Because why not?

Monster Building 201: The D&D Monster Dissection Lab

It’s like they always say, you have to cut up a lot of bunnies before you learn enough to make a bunny of your own. So welcome to the D&D Monster Dissection Lab. We’re going to cut up a lot of creatures and see how they work. And that’s going to help us make our own creatures.

Monster Building 101: It’s Alive, IT’S ALIVE!

Custom monster building is one of the most useful and versatile tools in the D&D and Pathfinder GM’s toolbox. And notice that I didn’t say “reskinning” or “reflavoring.” Real custom monster building takes effort. And it’s totally worth it. But if you can’t make the effort, don’t f$%&ing bother.

Backfilling the Backstory

If you ask most GMs what the most important part of an adventure is, they’re going to tell you that it’s the backstory. And they’re wrong. Backstory is one of the least important parts of the adventure. But that doesn’t mean you can ignore it completely. It’s just a matter of doing it right.

Painting a Happy Little Scene

When you’re writing an adventure, you need interconnected scenes to get the heroes from the beginning to the end. Now, maybe you think you know what scenes are because you’ve already read previous articles in which a certain Angry genius explained them. But that doesn’t mean you know how to build them. So let’s talk about scene construction.

How to Motivate a Bunch of Lying Liars

Every hero needs a motivation. Though you wouldn’t know it by watching movies like Guardians of the Galaxy. Or listening to the lying liars who sit at your table pretending to be role-players. Doesn’t matter. When YOU write an adventure, you damned well better figure out how to motivate the characters. AND the players.

Let’s Start at the Very End

The hills are alive with the sound of Anger! Angry advice about how to start building adventures by figuring out the ending that is!

How to Talk to Players: The Art of Narration

There comes a certain time in every GM’s life when he starts to notice changes. Suddenly, he starts to take an interest in those strange creatures sitting across the table from him. Or her. Whatever. They are players. And their ways can be strange, mysterious, and vexing. And they can make a GM feel all sorts of strange emotions: nervousness, fear, frustration, and violent rage. But, no matter how strange and confusing, no GM can live without players. So, eventually, every GM has to figure out how to talk to players.

Usually about five seconds into the first game session.

Scenes: The LEGO bricks of Adventure!

If you want to be a Master Adventure Builder, you’ve got to know your way around your LEGO bricks. By which I mean scenes. That’s the gimmick of this article. I explain scenes as an adventure building concept and then use a bunch of references to LEGO sets and pieces using obtuse LEGO jargon to show off how I’m better than you at BOTH game mastering AND LEGO. I also talk about Not-Straulia and raptor-puppies. It’s weird being in my head.

Every Adventure’s a Dungeon

Structure is the glue that holds your adventure together and every adventure needs a good structure. Fortunately, it turns out there’s only ONE actual structure. I’ll prove it through the magic of Commodore 64 adventure games and tentacles!

What the Actual F$&% is an Adventure Anyway?

You can’t learn how to build adventures until you know what an adventure actually is. So sit down, Daniel-san, and listen to your Angry-senpai as I explain how encounter is like cracking an orc’s skull and watching it bleed. While holding the Triforce. I s$&% you not.

Help! My Players are Talking to Things!

What do you do when your players actually decide to talk to things? How do you handle social interaction? The same way you handle every other f$&%ing action. But if you need more detail than that, read this article.

Adjudicate Actions Like a Motherf$&%ing Boss!

This is it, the big one, the massive motherf$&% that tells you how to think like a GM. How do you handle it when a character does absolutely anything? You read this f$&%ing article!