I’ve got lots of s$&% to get through today. There’s so much that I literally can’t s$&% it all out today. That means this second part of a two-parter is, itself, a two-parter. Why? Because I went above and beyond for you f$&%ers. And I ain’t apologizing. Why would I apologize for being awesome?

Anyway, you’ve probably guessed that means there’s no Long, Rambling Introduction™ today. I’m not apologizing for that either.

Let’s get to it!

Treasure Refined and Redesigned

This is How You Should Handle Treasure. It follows How I Handle Treasure, which I published a few weeks ago. That’s where I explained how I make finding and selling treasure so much fun at my table. This article will provide you with a nice, mechanical, systematic, table-intensive way to get the Angry Treasure Experience without having to pull it all out of you’re a$&% like I do.

This system comes in two parts. The first part — this part — is about redefining treasure. I’m going to fix the DMG’s crappy treasure breakdowns and classifications. And then give you some solid mechanics for appraising and selling treasure. The second part — which you’ll get in a couple of weeks — is all about seeding your game with treasure. How to scatter treasure around your world and how to describe it when the players find it.

Keep in mind that this part’s just rules. It’s all mechanical s$&%. I’ll be talking about common trade goods and inferior rare art objects this week. I ain’t translating that s$&% into sacks of flour or chipped agateware offering bows. That fluffy, descriptive s$%& comes later.

Also, keep in mind that I’m not explaining or justifying s$&% this time around. I explained and justified everything in my last article. This article’s the rules that’ll get you the s$&% I already explained and justified.

Also also keep in mind that, as always, I polish and smooth my numbers. I make them easy to work with. Even if that means the averages are a little off here and there. It’ll be especially apparent because I actually came up with not one, not two, but three different treasure valuation systems. I’ll explain why below. When you compare the systems, though, you’ll probably notice that, even though the numbers are all in the same ballpark, they aren’t quite the same. They don’t give the same results.

They’re close enough. Within acceptable tolerances. You might think they’re not. You might do some fancy math and say s$&% like, “if you use the Dicey system over 20 levels, players will find umpteen times as much gold by the time they conquer the Nine Hells.” And while you might be technically right, you’ll be wrong about it actually f$&%ing mattering one tiny little iota.

Also also also keep in mind that next time is two weeks away. The follow-up to this follow-up that’s coming next time? That’s two weeks away. At least. This s$&% got complicated. And, again, I ain’t sorry.

The Power of Lying Asynchronous Information

While we’re caveating and qualifying, I want to mention that these rules are not meant for the players’ eyes. They work best if you keep them away from the players. Remember all that s$&% I said about game feel and obfuscation and apparent variability? Well, that’s all baked into this system.

Point is, it’s okay to tell the players how to make an appraisal check or how to sell treasure or how to haggle. That’s cool. But don’t tell the players how treasure’s classified and valued behind the scenes. Don’t tell the players they found a rare gemstone worth 2d6 x 50 gp. Tell them they found a translucent, yellow gemstone or something. When they appraise it, tell them it’s a topaz and it’ll probably net them between 175 and 500 gold pieces.

The system’s designed to make everything seem more random and variable than it really is. To make it easy for you to maintain the illusion. Don’t let the players see behind the curtain or you’ll ruin it.

One, Two, Three! Three Treasure Systems! Ha Ha Ha Ha!

The core of this whole Treasure Redefined thing is a set of Treasure Valuation Tables. They tell you how to figure out how much a given treasure sells for — so you don’t have to track the exact value of every treasure from the moment the players find it — and what to tell the players when they appraise that given treasure — which you don’t have to give a single, solitary s$&% about.

I actually came up with three different — but similar — Treasure Valuation Systems based on the numbers that already exist in D&D 5E. Why? Because different GMs have different tolerances for math and tables and s$&%. It’s up to you to decide which system to use based on how much table time and cognitive load you want to put into this whole treasure thing. Of course, these are Angry systems. That means even the heftiest of the three systems doesn’t involve that much work. Especially given it’ll be rare for players to deal with more than a half-dozen treasures in a given two-or-three session adventure.

The Simple Treasure Valuation System is for GMs who weren’t impressed by all that s$&% I said about how I handle treasure, but who still want better numbers and more variety. See? Even if you’re wrong and want to run a bad game, I’ll still help you out.

The Variable Treasure Valuation System is for GMs who want the play experience I described, but don’t want to roll a lot of dice and do a lot of multiplication. It’ll provide a fun experience with minimal math and die rolling.

The Dicey Treasure Valuation System is for awesome GMs who want the play experience I outlined and who also don’t mind some extra math and die-rolling. It’s got the most variability. The most apparent depth. But evaluating and selling treasure will eat up some game time. Not hours, mind you. Even I don’t like math and dice that much. Minutes. A quarter-hour tops.

Me? I like the Dicey System. And I’m proud of it. But you can use whatever system you want. Sure, I won’t have any respect for you if you use the Simple System, but odds are I didn’t have any respect for you before now anyway.

Now, let’s define us some treasure.

Treasure Redefined

Treasure’s all the s$&% that adventurers find that isn’t useful for anything other than trading. It’s not equipment. It’s not supplies. It’s stuff that can be converted into equipment and supplies. Sure, some players keep some treasures as trophies or decorations. And occasionally, clever players will find a good use for treasure during an adventure. Use it as a gift or bribe to get some leverage in a social encounter, for example. But, for the most part, treasure’s just cash or s$&% that turns into cash.

Cash

In D&D, cash comes in the form of coins made of precious metals. Copper, silver, electrum, gold, and platinum. You can add some complexity and depth to this s$&% if you want. You can distinguish between coins of the realm and exotic coinage and you can make moneychanging a thing. And you can even do it in a way that makes the game fun without bogging it down. But that’d be a whole separate article. Cash really isn’t worth redefining right now.

I do want to mention trade bars, though. Most GMs miss that s$&% in the DMG, but they’re there. Basically, when wealthy merchants and lords and kings need to send large sums of money back and forth, they melt precious metals down into bars of standard weights and sizes. You can use the DMG’s rules or you can just follow the simple guidelines I use.

Standard trade bars weigh either two or five pounds, regardless of the denomination. A two-pound bar is worth 100 coins of the same metal. A five-pound bar is worth 250 coins of the same denomination. It’s all based on the simple assumption that 50 D&D coins of any denomination weigh one pound.

Anyway, cash is cash. Don’t think too much about it. Players like finding coins and bars. That’s good enough.

Valuables

A valuable is an object or collection of objects the heroes can sell in a civilized location. Unlike equipment, which sells for half its purchase price, valuables don’t lose any value when they’re sold. There are three types of valuables: trade goods, gemstones, and art objects.

Trade goods are things that aren’t useful to adventurers but are useful to normal people. They’re stuff merchants will readily buy and sell. Stuff the people of the world consume. Foodstuffs, raw materials, that kind of thing. Trade goods include sacks of grain, casks of spirits, bundles of wood, stacks of hides or furs, skeins of fiber, bolts of cloth, ingots of non-precious metal, jars of spices, dyes, inks, oil, pitch, wax, dried herbs, and so on and so on and so on. Normal, mundane crap for sale in every marketplace.

Gemstones are individual mineral specimens prized for their aesthetic, intrinsic, or occasionally magical properties. They’re pretty rocks. The prettier and the rarer, the more valuable they are. Gemstones are usually cut and polished to enhance their appearance. Most are pretty small, ranging from the size of a fingernail to the size of a robin’s egg.

Art objects are crafted items prized for their aesthetic or intrinsic value. Art objects can be functional items, but their materials, workmanship, or historical or religious significance enhance their value. They can also include ceremonial items and pure artistic creations. Art objects include cutlery, tableware, musical instruments, clothing, jewelry, containers, weapons, armor, tools, manuscripts, ceremonial objects, sculptures, tapestries, icons, paintings, woodcuts, and so on ad nauseum. Even entirely mundane items — a wooden cup, for example — might qualify as an art object if it’s got special historical, religious, or archaeological significance.

All else being equal, gemstones are more valuable than trade goods and art objects are more valuable than gemstones.

Rarity

All valuables — trade goods, gemstones, and art objects — are classified by rarity. Rarity’s a bit of an abstract concept here given that almost all art objects are unique by their nature. In the case of trade goods and gems, rarity is what it is. Salt is more common than saffron. Moonstones are more common than emeralds. Easy. In the case of art objects, rarity can refer to everything from the materials the object’s constructed of to the significance of the piece.

Rarity determines how readily the item can be sold, how difficult it is to appraise, and — most importantly — how much the item is likely to sell for.

As with magical items, a valuable can be common, uncommon, rare, very rare, or legendary.

Quality (Optional)

If you don’t hate fun, you can add an optional extra dimension to the treasure definition by allowing the players to occasionally find inferior and superior valuables. An inferior valuable’s worth less than similar treasures of their kind and rarity. Inferior trade goods might be partially spoiled, damaged, or of particularly low-quality materials. Inferior gems might be undersized, flawed, uncut or poorly cut, or of inferior luster. Inferior art objects might be worn, damaged, made of low-quality materials, or with poor workmanship, or they might have negative historical or religious associations.

Superior valuables are just the opposite. Compared to similar items of their rarity, they’re exceptionally valuable.

Inferior items sell for half the price of similar items of their classification. Superior items sell for double.

Treasure Valuation

Valuables do not have set-in-stone values. That’s a pain in the a$&. Instead, every valuable’s classified by its kind and rarity. And might have an optional quality modifier. When you — the GM — include a treasure in your game, you just have to record its classification. You don’t have to track its value.

For example:

• bolt of wool [common trade good]
• large amber [superior rare gemstone]
• tarnished and worn emerald-studded gold scepter [inferior legendary art object]

When the players discover such a valuable, describe it to them, but don’t tell them the classification. Keep that to yourself. Yes, that means you’re going to have to keep track of what valuables the characters have found. That’s GMing for you.

When the players sell a valuable — or when the players examine, appraise, and evaluate a valuable — you use the valuable’s classification and the appropriate Treasure Valuation Table to determine how much they realize from the sale. Or what their appraisal tells them.

As noted, there’s three different Treasure Valuation Systems for you to choose from: Simple, Variable, and Dicey. I’ll present the tables and then go through the rules for appraising and selling treasure once you’ve seen them. Cool?

Simple Treasure Valuation

The simplest valuation system’s got no variability or dice rolling or fun at all. It’s for GMs who want to gloss over this s$&%. Even if it means running a boring, crappy game. Every treasure classification has a single, fixed value. Simple as that. Here’s the crappy, Simple Treasure Valuation Table. Don’t use it. It’s boring.

Simple Treasure Valuation

Rarity	Trade Good	Gemstone	Art Object
Common	10 gp	50 gp	100 gp
Uncommon	25 gp	100 gp	500 gp
Rare	50 gp	500 gp	1,000 gp
Very Rare	250 gp	1,000 gp	5,000 gp
Legendary	500 gp	5,000 gp	10,000 gp

Variable Treasure Valuation

Under the Variable Treasure Valuation System, every valuable has a range of possible selling prices, but they tend to cluster around the averages. The actual selling price of a treasure is determined by rolling 1d6 and reading the appropriate column. The value in the 3 – 4 column shows the average value for a valuable of that classification. Which you sometimes need.

Trade Good Variable Treasure Valuation (Roll 1d6)

Rarity	1	2	3 - 4	5	6
Common	1 gp	3 gp	5 gp	7 gp	10 gp
Uncommon	10 gp	12 gp	15 gp	20 gp	25 gp
Rare	25 gp	30 gp	35 gp	45 gp	50 gp
Very Rare	50 gp	100 gp	150 gp	200 gp	250 gp
Legendary	250 gp	300 gp	350 gp	425 gp	500 gp

Gemstone Variable Treasure Valuation (Roll 1d6)

Rarity	1	2	3 - 4	5	6
Common	25 gp	30 gp	35 gp	45 gp	50 gp
Uncommon	50 gp	65 gp	75 gp	90 gp	100 gp
Rare	100 gp	175 gp	250 gp	375 gp	500 gp
Very Rare	500 gp	625 gp	750 gp	875 gp	1,000 gp
Legendary	1,000 gp	1,750 gp	2,500 gp	3,750 gp	5,000 gp

Art Object Variable Treasure Valuation (Roll 1d6)

Rarity	1	2	3 - 4	5	6
Common	50 gp	65 gp	75 gp	90 gp	100 gp
Uncommon	100 gp	175 gp	250 gp	375 gp	500 gp
Rare	500 gp	625 gp	750 gp	875 gp	1,000 gp
Very Rare	1,000 gp	1,750 gp	2,500 gp	3,750 gp	5,000 gp
Legendary	5,000 gp	6,250 gp	7,500 gp	8,750 gp	10,000 gp

This system’s a good compromise between variable fun and not doing a lot of math.

Dicey Treasure Valuation

Under the Dicey Treasure Valuation System, selling prices for valuables are highly variable. Trade goods have low variability by high volatility. Art objects are highly variable, but their prices cluster around average values.

When the heroes sell a valuable, you determine the selling price by rolling whatever the table tells you to roll for that item. When the heroes appraise a valuable, you’ll either tell them an average value, a tight range of prices, or a broad range of prices. This helps obscure the patterns in the selling prices and gives the impression that every item is unique, has its own value, and that there are complex market forces at play in your game even though there aren’t.

The average appraisal column also provides a useful average value for items of that classification when you need it.

Trade Good Dicey Treasure Valuation

Rarity	Value	Average Appraisal	Tight Appraisal	Broad Appraisal
Common	1d6 gp	3 gp	2 gp - 5 gp	1 - 6 gp
Uncommon	1d6 x 5 gp	15 gp	10 gp - 25 gp	5 gp - 30 gp
Rare	1d6 x 10 gp	35 gp	20 gp - 50 gp	10 gp - 60 gp
Very Rare	1d6 x 50 gp	175 gp	100 gp - 250 gp	50 gp - 300 gp
Legendary	1d6 x 100 gp	350 gp	200 gp - 500 gp	100 gp - 600 gp

Gemstone Dicey Treasure Valuation

Rarity	Value	Average Appraisal	Tight Appraisal	Broad Appraisal
Common	2d6 x 5 gp	35 gp	25 gp - 45 gp	10 - 60 gp
Uncommon	2d6 x 10 gp	70 gp	50 gp - 90 gp	20 gp - 120 gp
Rare	2d6 x 50 gp	350 gp	250 gp - 450 gp	100 gp - 600 gp
Very Rare	2d6 x 100 gp	700 gp	500 gp - 900 gp	200 gp - 1,200 gp
Legendary	2d6 x 500 gp	3,500 gp	2,500 gp - 4,500 gp	1,000 gp - 6,000 gp

Art Object Dicey Treasure Valuation

Rarity	Value	Average Appraisal	Tight Appraisal	Broad Appraisal
Common	3d6 x 10 gp	100 gp	80 gp - 130 gp	30 - 180 gp
Uncommon	3d6 x 50 gp	500 gp	400 gp - 650 gp	150 gp - 900 gp
Rare	3d6 x 100 gp	1,000 gp	800 gp - 1,300 gp	300 gp - 1,800 gp
Very Rare	3d6 x 500 gp	5,000 gp	4,000 gp - 6,500 gp	1,500 gp - 9,000 gp
Legendary	3d6 x 1,000 gp	10,000 gp	8,000 gp - 13,000 gp	3,000 gp - 18,000 gp

Side Note: Treasure Valuation and Spell Component Bulls$&%

I hope you’re all beyond quibbling over this s$&%, but I know you’re not. So I have to add a note here about spells that require “gems worth at least x-ty gold” and s$&% like that.

Let’s be clear. The only reason that s$%& exists is so the designers could add monetary costs to spells in a way that makes sense from a world-lore perspective and also that adds a little flavor to magic. The designers could have gone the boring, stupid route of saying “identify requires 100 gp worth of ritual materials.” But they chose interesting and fun. As a result, you’ve got idiots arguing that if someone haggles the price of pearl down to 90 gp, the spell won’t work. Or since the players found the pearl, it cost them nothing, and the spell won’t work. Stupid s$&% like that.

If the players go to market to buy a pearl for an identify spell, it costs them 100 gp. That’s all the rules are really saying. Otherwise, a pearl is a pearl. If they find a pearl in the dungeon, don’t be an a$&hole. Don’t roll and say, “well, it’s only worth 85 gp so it doesn’t work. Ha!”

That said, do not allow inferior quality valuables to power spells. Magic requires good-quality ingredients. That’s flavorful. It enhances the play experience. All the rest is just GMs being dicks.

Selling Treasure

Heroes can sell their valuables in any civilized settlement. A single character can spend one downtime day selling any number of valuables — within reason, of course — in the settlement’s markets and shops. The character spends the day shopping around and negotiating the best reasonable prices for each item.

At the end of the day, determine the selling price for each item using your chosen valuation method. Those prices represent the best prices the character was offered for the item in question in that town. List each item and the selling price and let the character decide whether they accept the price or keep the item.

Divide the selling price in half for inferior items and double the price for superior items.

If the character doesn’t like an offered price, they can keep the item instead of selling it. But that price stands until something significant changes or a substantial amount of time has passed. The heroes can’t keep shopping the item around day after day. Offers don’t change that quick. Basically, the heroes should have to leave town or undertake an adventure before you generate new prices.

Quick Sales

Instead of selling multiple valuables over an entire day, a character can sell a single valuable item in 1d4 hours. They won’t necessarily get the best price for it though.

If you’re boring and using the Simple Valuation System, reduce the selling price by one quarter for a quick sale.

Otherwise, generate two selling prices and use the worse of the two for a quick sale.

Leveraged Sales

While selling treasure, players can leverage their knowledge of the world or their character’s resources to sell specific items. If a character’s got black market contacts, for example, they might be able to sell certain goods at a higher price. If a player remembers that a certain noble collects ancient weapons, they might try to sell a ceremonial dagger to that noble instead of to some merchant. The point is the player must come up with some kind of leverage. They must demonstrate an engagement with the world.

Consider playing out a short interaction as part of a leveraged sale. Otherwise, adjudicate the action the way you’d adjudicate any action. And consider offering rewards besides cash if the fancy strikes you.

Otherwise, generate two selling prices and use the better for a leveraged sale.

If you’re boring and using the Simple System — but you’re somehow allowing leveraged sales anyway — increase the selling price by one quarter for a leveraged sale.

Driving a Hard Bargain

If the player’s unhappy with an offered price for a given valuable, they can attempt to negotiate a better price. If they succeed, the selling price increases by 50%. If they fail, the selling price decreases by 50%. The player can still choose to keep the item instead of selling it, but that price stands until something changes.

To haggle, ask the player to roll a Charisma (Persuasion) check. The DC is based on the valuable’s classification as follows:

Haggling DC by Rarity

Rarity	Haggling DC
Common	10
Uncommon	15
Rare	20
Very Rare	25
Legendary	30

If a clever player comes up with an alternative to haggling or takes advantage of the buyer’s personality traits during an interaction, adjudicate the action the way you would any other. Use different abilities, different proficiencies, or grant them advantage. You know, be a f$&%ing Game Master and run your f$&%ing game!

Market Limits: Optional

At your option — and this is a good option in my not-at-all-humble-but-totally-correct opinion — at your option, you can put some limits on where the players can sell specific valuables. No one in a farming village, for example, can afford to buy a legendary art object. And the supply master in the lumber camp doesn’t have much interest in rare gemstones.

For each settlement, you can set a maximum rarity for salable trade goods, gemstones, and art objects. Or you can use the following general restrictions:

Salable Item Rarity by Settlement Size

Settlement Size	Trade Good	Gemstone	Art Object
Outpost	Uncommon	None	None
Village	Rare	Uncommon	Common
Town	Very Rare	Rare	Uncommon
City	Any	Any	Any

Selling Treasure Examples

Simple Treasure Valuation Example

Arwyn attempts to sell a cask of low-quality ale [inferior common trade good]. She doesn’t have a day to waste, so she makes a quick sale. Common trade goods normally sell for 10 gp, but the inferior quality reduces the price by half to 5 gp. Because it’s a quick sale, the price is reduced by one quarter so Arwen only realizes 75% of that 5 gp selling price. After 2 hours in the market, Arwen takes home a whopping 4 gp.

Variable Treasure Valuation Example

Amongst the treasures Bathar is selling during his day-long trip to the market is a brass censer of intricate workmanship [superior uncommon art object]. Noting the sunburst motif, Bathar decides to offer it to the high priest at the Temple of Solarplexus instead of selling it at the market. A leveraged sale. The GM rolls 2d6 and gets a 2 and a 5. According to the Variable Treasure Valuation Table, an uncommon art object yields 375 gp on a roll of 5. But this item is of superior quality and worth twice as much. The grateful high priest offers Bathar 750 gp in for the censer.

Dicey Treasure Valuation Example

Amongst the treasures she’s selling in town, Cassia has an unidentified red-flecked, gray gemstone with a few chips and scratches. It is a flawed bloodstone [inferior uncommon gemstone]. The GM rolls 2d6 x 10, determining the gemstone would be worth 40 gp if not for its flaws which reduce its value to 20 gp. Cassia’s unhappy with that offer and decides to haggle. She rolls a Charisma (Persuasion) check. Unfortunately, her 12 doesn’t beat the 15 DC the GM gets from the Haggling DC table for an uncommon valuable. She’s forced to either settle for 10 gp or keep the gem. Cassia decides to hold it until the party gets to the capital where she has some contacts and can hopefully make a leveraged sale.

Describing Treasure

When the heroes find valuables during their adventures, they’ll rarely know exactly what they’re dealing with at a glance. Thus, when the players find a treasure, you should simply tell them what they perceive of it. No more. No less. If they examine the item — if they ask questions — provide whatever additional information they could glean. No more, again, and no less. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this s$&%. But here we are.

Use your uncommon f$&%ing sense. If the heroes unstop a cask, dip in a finger, and taste the liquid, they’ll know they’ve got a cask of ale. You don’t need to roll for that s$&%. But also remember that lots of minerals and metals look alike to a layperson. Or even to an expert’s casual glance. Identifying and evaluating treasure is a time-consuming process.

Evaluating Treasure

If the heroes want to identify or appraise a treasure — figure out what it’s made from, what kind of gems it’s studded with, what metals and woods are incorporated into it, and what it might actually be worth — that’s a time-consuming action. And it’s best done as a group. A party can evaluate any number of valuables — within reason — with ten minutes of examination and discussion. Or as part of a short rest.

An individual character can also attempt to evaluate a single valuable as a time-consuming action on their own. But you should do your best to discourage that s$&%.

Evaluating a valuable requires an appraisal check. One for each valuable. Which I describe below.

Who Makes the Check?

D&D is really f$&%ing careless about things like group checks and repeated rolls and s$&% like that. And so are most GMs. I’m going to tell you the best way to handle this s$&% and I know some of you aren’t going to like it. And guess what? I don’t care. This is about making life easy and running an efficient game.

First, each group gets one — and only one — chance to evaluate a treasure. Either they identify and appraise it or they don’t. If they don’t appraise it, they’ll find out what it’s worth when they try to sell it. Or when they take it to an assayer in town.

Second, if the players make your life easy and evaluate treasure during adventure downtime, figure out which character’s most likely to succeed and use their stats. Their ability bonuses, their proficiency bonuses — if applicable — and their class and background features. Don’t use the stupid “helping” rules for this bulls$%&. Keep it simple. Pick the best character for the job and use their stats.

If one idiot player preempts the group and snatches the item away to evaluate it alone in a corner, let them. It ain’t your job to stop an idiot from sabotaging the group. In that case, use their stats — whatever they are — for the roll. And if they fail, they blew the group’s one chance. If anyone else evaluates it, say, “well, you examine the object but you can’t determine any more than what Dameer already did.” Then, remind the players that if they’d work as a group, they’d improve their odds immensely and let group justice handle it from there.

Third, make the actual appraisal rolls yourself. Behind the screen. In secret. So you can lie if you have to.

Appraisals Don’t Matter

It’s important to note that this appraisal s$&% does not matter. Not even a tiny little bit. Nothing the players determine about their valuables changes anything about how much they’ll get for the item. If the players successfully appraise their valuables, they’ll get answers that are either right or close enough to right that they’re not really wrong. That’ll create a disconnect between the hypothetical, objective worth of an item and its market price. Which creates the sense that every item has a unique worth and every town has complex market forces in play. Obfuscation, variation, and randomness at work.

Point is, if the players want to appraise their treasures, let them. Don’t gloss over it. Make it feel significant. But don’t give it too much of your own attention. Don’t write down their appraisals. Don’t keep track of them. Because they don’t actually matter.

Easy Appraisal Check System

An appraisal check is an Intelligence check. The DC is determined by the rarity of the valuable as follows:

Appraisal DC by Rarity

Rarity	Appraisal DC
Common	5
Uncommon	10
Rare	15
Very Rare	20
Legendary	25

If the valuable has historical, religious, or arcane significance, allow proficient characters to add their proficiency bonus as appropriate.

If the character has proficiency with a tool that would be used to work or create the valuable, grant them advantage on the roll.

On a success, describe the item as appropriate and provide an appraised value as explained below.

Alternative and Way Better Appraisal Check System

Any character can attempt to appraise any trade good or any common valuable with an Intelligence check. To appraise any other valuable, a character must have an appropriate skill or tool proficiency. For example, a character proficient with gemcutter’s tools could appraise a rare gemstone or a character proficient either in religion or with sculptor’s tools could appraise an uncommon stone statuette of a religious figure.

Characters proficient with assayer’s tools — see below — can appraise any gem or art object.

As always, proficient characters add their proficiency bonus to the Intelligence check.

The Intelligence check’s DC is determined by the item’s rarity as follows:

Appraisal DC by Rarity

Rarity	Appraisal DC
Common	5
Uncommon	10
Rare	15
Very Rare	20
Legendary	25

On a success, describe the item as appropriate and provide an appraised value as explained below.

Assayer’s Tools

Assayer’s tools are artisan’s tools with which a character can be proficient and which are used for evaluating and appraising valuables. They include a small chain balance with standard weights, touchstones, a magnifying lens, and various liquids and powders used to test the purity of metals and minerals.

Assayer’s tools cost 25 gp and weigh 6 lbs.

Appraisal Results

If a character successfully evaluates a valuable, they identify the item to whatever degree you deem appropriate. If the item is of inferior or superior quality, they recognize that as well. In addition, the character estimates the item’s worth. That is, roughly around how much they can expect to sell the item for.

That’s an opal. They normally sell for between 800 and 1,300 gold pieces. But this opal is large and especially lustrous and will probably sell for a lot more.

If a character fails to appraise the item, they can’t identify the item or the materials that went into making it and they can’t  determine its approximate value.

At your option, if a character fails their appraisal roll exceptionally badly — by five or more, maybe, or with a natural one — lie to the players. Misidentify the item. Provide the valuation for an object of the wrong rarity or kind. Falsely claim it’s a superior or inferior specimen. Remember, appraisals don’t matter. So f$&% with the players however you want when they flub their rolls. Have fun with it.

The actual estimate the character determines is based on the valuation system you’re using.

Simple Treasure Valuation System

If you’re boring and you’re using the suck-a$% Simple Valuation System, just tell the players whatever the valuation table says the item’s worth. The end. Yawn.

It’s an opal. It’s worth 100 gp.

Variable Treasure Valuation System

Under the Variable Valuation System, estimated values are usually given as a range of possible prices.

Roll 2d6 and consult the Treasure Valuation Table. Tell the player that the item’s price is between the two numbers you rolled. If you roll the same value on both dice, tell the player the item’s probably worth that much.

After rolling 3 and 5 for the appraisal of a cask of mead [common trade item], I say, “you can probably sell that for five to seven gold pieces in the town market.” After rolling 2 and 2 for the appraisal of a topaz [very rare gemstone], I say, “that’ll probably sell for around 625 gp.”

If you don’t feel like rolling dice, you can just pick a range or even a single result from the table. Whatever’s easiest. Appraisals don’t matter!

Dicey Treasure Valuation System

Under the Dicey Valuation System, successful appraisals provide one of three kinds of estimates: an average value, a tight range, or a broad range. All three estimates are found on the Valuation Table.

Appraising a small gold idol [rare art object] could result in any of these estimates:

• It’s worth about 1,000 gold pieces
• It’ll probably sell for 800 to 1,300 gold pieces
• It could sell for anywhere from 300 to 1,800 gold pieces

The trick’s to mix it up. Sometimes, a successful appraisal should yield an average result, sometimes a tight range, and sometimes a broad range. All three are correct estimates if you know a thing or two about statistics and you’re willing to use a broad definition of the word “correct.” So they’re all fine.

If you’re not comfortable varying it yourself, roll 1d6 whenever the players successfully appraise something. On a 1 or a 2, use the average appraisal. On a 3 or a 4, provide the tight range. And on a 5 or a 6, provide the broad range. On no account should you use degrees of success to determine which range to give. They’re all successes. Variability and randomness are the key. And appraisals don’t matter.

Next Time…

And that’s it. That’s treasure redefined and refined. Salable. Apparaisable. And you’ve got your choice of three different valuation methods, two different rules for appraisal rolls, and a few optional extras to have fun with. Because I’m f$&%ing amazing.

Next time, I’ll tell you how to actually name, describe, and distribute treasure. Expect at least two completely different systems for random treasure distribution. Because I don’t ever do s$&% simple. Which works out great for you, doesn’t it?