This is a rough one; I’ll make it quick.
It’s no secret my personal health has been piss poor of late and that, while I started the year with big plans, it has also been a year fraught with struggles and shortfalls. And try as I might, I have not been able to recover myself personally or professionally. In the past month, there have been a number of incidents in my personal life I have kept very quiet, but which have derailed me yet again. I should not be sensitive to such things, but I am. And my personal health is now in danger. I’m not going to die or anything like that, but I am in danger of landing myself back in the hospital after years of getting my chronic conditions under control.
With just four months left in the year now, I absolutely do not want to be looking back in December and thinking only on my failures and losses, personally or professionally. I spend too many Decembers doing that. So I have to recover.
I absolutely remain committed, first and foremost, to delivering weekly gaming content, including finishing out the True Game Mastery series and at least publishing a few useful mechanical game Hacks including the Tension Pool and getting a Tension Dice product for sale.
Second, I remain committed to publishing a playable version of my in-development game engine, Slapdash, even if it’s only a Basic Game with More to Come! And to giving that away to everyone who has ardently supported me.
Professionally, those are my top priorities. And if I accomplish nothing else, if I can say I met those goals, then I can say this year was a success.
Everything else must take the back seat to those things.
My personal health and life has its own priorities and goals. I’m taking care of those things. And, to some extent, they are inextricably tied to my professional priorities and goals. Which means I cannot “take time off for myself” without making things worse. That’s just how it is.
That said, I am making some drastic and difficult choices to position myself to end this year well. Because, after all, the problems and their causes don’t matter. All that matters is how you respond to them. And that you refuse to let the problems define your life. But not life advice. Whatever.
Anyway…
Changes to the Plan
First, I am cancelling tonight’s Live Chat and not scheduling any other events until I can say I am on track for the first goal on the list. That is, until my regular publication schedule is restored, I can’t focus on anything else. I won’t be engaging in discussion on Discord or playing or running any games or doing anything else until I feel I can put out one high quality article a week and one Hack a month.
And my goal is to able to say that I’m there by the end of next week.
Second — and this is the hard one — I have made the difficult decision not to try to deliver four Features before the end of August. I feel that if I try to meet that deadline, I will not be able to put out quality content and I will also end up starting September in the hole. By letting myself miss just one Feature, that gives me the opportunity to start September with the first goal already on track. And then all I have to do is maintain it.
I take this decision extremely seriously. In the entire time I have been Patron-supported — going on nine years — I have only one time failed to put out four Feature articles. That was years ago and it was a conscious choice so I could take a personal vacation.
Third is that I am taking a personal and professional retreat for a few days. I am going away. I won’t be available online at all until next week or the week after. I will put out two more Features in the next two weeks, but aside from that, I am retreating a bit. Partly, that’s a health necessity as I need to recover myself from some things in a different setting, but partly it’s just to remove distractions and let me work.
To sum up…
- Live Chat and all other events involving me, personal and professional, are on hiatus. If we had a thing scheduled, it is not. I will be in touch to iron out new schedules.
- There will only be three Features in August. Two will be delivered in the next two weeks in addition to the one that has already been published.
- I am on a personal and professional retreat for the next few days and will be completely unreachable. Next week, my availability will be limited, but I won’t be gone from the world.
What This Means for Patrons
If you provide me support on Patreon, you are likely charged for your pledged on a “per Feature” basis. That is, if I don’t publish a Feature, you get charged less at the end of the month. So, you’ll be charged less for August than in previous months. You won’t pay for work I didn’t do and that’s how I prefer it.
If you provide support on SubscribeStar or have purposely structured your pledges differently on Patreon, you may be charged the same monthly pledge even if I don’t publish all four Features.
All of that’s totally outside my control. Patreon and SubscribeStar process everything based on how those platforms work and how you, the user, have set up your pledges. I can’t adjust anything on my end.
I cannot determine how you value my content and what you think your pledge is worth. What I can say is this: if you support me on SubscribeStar or have set up Patreon to charge a single, monthly pledge, I feel you are due a refund for the Feature I don’t deliver. And I will happily provide that refund if you request it.
After you are billed for your August pledge of support, if you wish to receive a refund of a portion of that pledge, please e-mail me at patron.support@angry.games and I will process and the refund manually or provide it via an alternate platform.
Thank You and I’m Sorry
Beyond that, all I can do right now is thank you for your support, encouragement, and wishes-of-wellness. I appreciate them. But please know also that I am working as hard as I can to recover myself and get back to a good place. I’m very excited about the plans I’ve wrought for this year and I want to see them come to fruition. This isn’t a failure; it’s a delay. And I intend fully to right this ship or die trying.
Further, I apologize. I am deeply sorry that I have let things degenerate to this point. I have let many of you down though very few of you will ever tell me so and many of you won’t agree that I have. I want to continue to be worthy of your support and your faith. And I know that means I will have to re-earn some trust and prove myself. Which will take time.
Thank you; I’m sorry; be well all of you.
There is no Angry DM tips, advice, or SlapDash, without the Angry DM.
Take all the time you need. We only get one roll at life, and I wish you a critical success.
I am here for the long haul, which means you need to put yourself first and get healthy.
Thoughts are with you.
BTW: You have created so much content over the years, this gives me time to catch up.
Seconded wholeheartedly.
Ditto. Get well.
Look out for #1, Angry. Thanks for everything you do.
I hope I speak for everyone when I say we’d sooner have you in good health and putting less stuff out. It’s hard – especially as a guy – to stick your hand up and say things aren’t ok and you need a break, so thanks for having the courage to do so.
Praying you have a speedy recovery, and that whatever else is going on around you resolves itself well.
We really appreciate you.
I think all and everyone of our Hyrule’s rupees invested on this Patreon are worth it.
I feel like an improved person after all these years, reading around here. But then, I never was able read the end of that repeated sentence “this is just pretend-elf advice, it isn’t life… something”.
So: be back.
As much as I’d like to wish you just a speedy recovery, I know things take time, some take a lot of time. I wish you a recovery that’s as full as possible in your circumstances. I hope that your measures are enough to bring you back on track. I really do. I had to grind things to a halt often enough to prevent worse consequences to know that it sucks a lot. So, I wish you a good recovery and hope to, well, celebrate your restored health and your meat goals in December. Best wishes, Suyun
Thank you for your transparency. I would like your work to continue long into the future, and sometimes that means a delay in the moment. Life has its own requirements, and I hope you don’t beat yourself up about having human needs which sometimes get in the way of human goals.
“Man plans and God laughs”… or something like that. I don’t know how my patreon support is structured tbh, but you’ve provided ample value to cover any lapses for the foreseeable future. Best rpg advice available anywhere.
Angry, I wish you to get well the soonest.
And I think we all would prefer you taking all the time in the world to take care of yourself and delaying the projects for as long as they need to be delayed.
Because, even in a completely selfish way, Angry who is healthy and doing well would put out better articles for us than Angry who is sacrificing himself to keep up with the schedule.
Good luck Angry. Take care, literally.
Well said, and seconded.
Be well Angry. Thank you for your hard work.
I have just discovered this wonderful web site, apparently at the worst possible time. I’ve dealt with my own health issues, and I know how they make you re-assess your priorities. Do what you have to do. We’ll be here when you get back.
Hey Angry, I read you because I think you give good advice about GMing. Not because you’re really good at publishing content every week. So I say take care of yourself with a clear conscience. I’d way prefer it that way. I sure as shit don’t want you sacrificing your health and personal life for my pretend elf games. I’ll still be checking back in a week, a month, and a year, because I know this is where the best damn GMing advice is, even if I have to dig it out of your archives or be patient or whatever.
I can’t wait to hear advice from a healthy and clear headed Angry GM. Er, I mean I CAN wait. Pardon the expression.
Best,
F
Hey Angry, i usually don’t react. Just read and take in. Your content is fantastic, really, but you are what’s truly invaluable.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to put personal health above others, I have struggled with that. So I am proud that you did so, and communicate so clearly about it. Thank you.
I think it speaks to your character – to feel the need to apologise even. But it is not necessary. No-one worthwhile would feel like you’ve let them down.
Please take all the time you need. I wish you a good recovery.